My entire life I have always been on the small side. I was called skinny, thin, petite, stick-y for a long time. People are blown away when they learn that I’ve had three children.
The other day, I was at the gym in a class where we were all lined up in front of the mirrors. I’m pressing weights over my head and I look in the mirror, noticing that I have a clear bulges on the back of my hips and my gut.
I was used to the excess skin on my belly from having three kids in three years. It’s just now I saw the first signs of fat underneath it all, front and back.
For the first time in my life, I saw something … that I didn’t like.
For the first time in my life, I saw something around my middle that I didn’t like. I had never had to worry about having an area of fat or excess weight since birth. In fact, I used to have trouble gaining weight.
Now, not that I’m overweight. I just saw something that my negative ego immediately picked up on. “You ate too many carbs over Christmas. You’re starting to get ‘old’ so just get used to it. You’re not as good enough as you thought to be here in this gym. You can’t wear the snug clothes anymore, you have rolls to hide.”
My Recent Struggle With Ugly
I was choosing to look at a part of me that the world would view as ugly, so I judged it as ugly. I often hear in my head that I need to stay fit and thin or else I’ve lost credibility as a person. Whatever that means.
I was choosing to look at a part of me that the world would view as ugly.
Then I looked around the room at the folks there all working out just as hard as me, just as early as me, and just as dedicated. Many of them likely considered themselves over weight. Many of them I could see fat rolls or areas where they might want to improve in many ways.
We’re all that way. I don’t care what it is you don’t like about yourself. We all have something. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if it’s your low self esteem talking, or the adversary trying to bring you down. It doesn’t even matter if you even try to improve it to your liking.
Related: Love The Ugly Parts Of You
We’re All “Ugly” and Blessed
I believe we’re blessed with seeing something about ourselves that we’d like to improve. Maybe we DO work on it. Maybe we try to fix it our entire lives. Maybe it becomes a harmful obsession.
I believe we’re blessed with seeing something about ourselves that we’d like to improve.
It’s not wrong to try and improve something we don’t love about ourselves. It IS wrong to see it as negative, turn it into something harmful in our eyes, and hate ourselves for even having it.
It’s not right to continually pick at the “thing” we loathe that we see in the mirror. It IS right to be okay with it being there.
Just like a home that gets dirty, we continually clean it. Accept the fact that there is opportunity and divine law that means we have to consistently clean it. So quit wasting energy and generating hateful spite for the fact that you need to clean it at all.
You’re A Divine Creation
When we look at ourselves and see a flaw, an imperfection, something we want to improve … accept it. It’s something that means you’re divinely created. You’re freakin’ alive! And you have an opportunity to love it, make yourself for what YOU are.
So KEEP feeding the energy and generate grateful joy for the fact that you are not perfect. You have something that makes you unique. Do you really want to be cookie cutter?
Keep feeding the energy and generate grateful joy for the fact that you are not perfect.
Even the very objects we judge to be perfect, they DO have flaws. It just depends on how you’re looking at it.
So CHOOSE to look at the “ugly” parts of yourself, and declare with a bright smile that you aren’t perfect and never will be! Start looking at yourself as if through heaven’s eyes.